Aron and Jackie

The phone was ringing when I walked in the door. He sounded like he was smiling as he spoke: “ Mom, I have good news and you’re the first to know…we’re engaged.”

I put my grocery bag down on the counter, all the while picturing toddler Aron with his thick brown curls, riding his fire truck through our Wayland yard. At other milestones in his life, I have somehow gone back to that image. He is even wearing a bulky sweater that his great grandmother Sarah knitted for him. Perhaps this vignette enters my mind because when he was eighteen months old, I said to myself: he is incredibly cute; I wish I could freeze him at this stage.

“I am so happy for both of you…you know this is what I’ve been waiting for.” As a mother, I’ve always hoped to launch my children, to give them opportunities yet clear boundaries. When they became young adults, I bit my tongue and didn’t tell them what I thought they should do. I clenched my teeth when Aron climbed Kilimanjaro, wandered in Zanzibar, and roamed around Trinidad. The one exception to keeping my mouth shut was Jackie’s involvement in his life. Weeks before, I had let Aron know that I could guess what Jackie would like for her 30th birthday. But he didn’t need to be cajoled, because he had a plan. They had been fully committed for years.

I asked to speak with her. “I’ve thought of you as a daughter for a long time, but it’s nice to have it official.” Perhaps she too was tearful, because she handed the phone back to Aron. For three years, she has been present for some great celebrations: anniversaries, birthdays, bat mitzvahs, weddings, and births. She has also been with us during difficult illnesses and tragic death. Last summer she spent nine days with us while we kept a sad vigil, and then dealt with a funeral and shiva. She seemed to know when to listen, when to hug, when to offer to cook, and when to sit quietly.

My son met her during his freshman year. They acted together, most memorably in “Inspector General” and “Arcadia”. She graduated and moved to Los Angeles, yet the friendship continued. It was meant to be, as their friends have said. When she moved to New York to attend journalism school, she contacted him. They have been a couple ever since. Visually, they look alike with their dark hair, brown eyes, and slim bodies. Together, they can usually share one chair.

“I cannot wait to give you hugs of congratulations!” I exclaimed. We ended our conversation so Aron could phone his dad and his siblings. His dad later commented to me: “If this is what our family is becoming, I feel very lucky”. As a mother, I’ve always hoped that my children would find true love. Recently Aron told his grandfather Maury that Jackie is the love of his life. They complete one another, intellectually and emotionally.