He has warm, smooth little feet. I take off his socks and kiss the soles, one by one. He smiles a smile that covers his whole face. I pick him up and he puts his arms around my neck. He gives me a real hug. I know that I’m reluctant to focus like this when his big brother is around. His big brother is my first grandchild and understandably, my first love. At age two, I don’t want him to feel overlooked, cast aside or rejected. But today I am alone with his baby brother for four hours, and I can relish this one on one chance. I spoon rice cereal into his mouth, and then feed him a bottle. He closes his eyes and starts to doze. I bring him upstairs to his crib. He cries once, and then sleeps for five or ten minutes. I know this, because I’m watching from the hallway.
When I was a young mom, I would have grabbed this instant of quiet to shower, wash the breakfast dishes, run a load of laundry, catch up on paperwork or make phone calls. But now as a grandma, I have absolutely no other agenda than this five month-old. He cries out and I pick him up, change his diaper, and choose an outfit for the day. For a solid hour, we stroll the neighborhood. He sits in his carriage, studying the cars that pass by, the fall leaves floating gently onto the sidewalk, the dogs straining on their leashes, and the painters balancing on scaffolding down the street. He eventually closes his eyes, briefly. Back in the house, he’s awake and ready for another diaper change and a second bottle.
On the living room rug, he sits on my lap while we read books. He lies on his back, grabbing the rings and balls on his play gym. He turns on his side, and almost makes it over onto his belly. His eyes widen and he looks nervous. Maybe he’s not quite ready for this step. I place him on his stomach and he happily turns over onto his back and grasps a stuffed giraffe.
The phone rings, but I don’t bother to answer it. The caller ID lets me know that it’s not my daughter. FEDEX drops off a package out front, but I leave it be. There is nothing on my mind except the dimples in his cheeks and the cooing sounds he makes when he sucks on his teething ring.
