1-24 Musings

I’m not used to moving faster than she can. After her birth, she looked me in the eye as if to say: “when does the party start?” Until she could pull herself along the carpet at five months, she was restless and fretful. An avid outdoorswoman, she still loves activity and adventure, so it must be hard for her to slow down, but she tells me she has a higher purpose. And of course, she does. Her belly grows by the day, as she is already 31 weeks pregnant.

Sometimes I get emotional, tearful as I watch her. The idea of my daughter having a baby is almost unfathomable. How did I get to this moment so quickly? Wasn’t it not too long ago that we were blowing out three candles on a Mickey Mouse birthday cake, waiting for the kindergarten bus, scrubbing the mud off of soccer cleats, shivering at ski races, lugging duffels bursting with clothing to her dorm room? It wasn’t actually that long ago; it just passed by in a flash.

I feel blessed and lucky to have my daughter and her husband living so close by. It amazes me to think back on that teenage voice telling me not to expect her to live my life. And it’s not that she’s living my life, but I do see her handwriting notes, phoning to check on family and friends, trying new recipes for small dinner parties, enjoying arranging her collection of vases on her livingroom mantle, and settling down by the fire with a good book.

With over two feet of fresh snow, she had a snow day today as probably most teachers and students in Massachusetts did. From her infancy and toddler years, I’ve saved my favorite blankets, sweaters, and dresses. This was the moment to pull the box down from a third floor closet shelf so we could take a look at lacy hand-smocked pinafores, and the afghans and hooded sweaters that her great grandmother lovingly knitted for her. Since she doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or a girl, we carefully folded the dresses away but kept out Great Nanny’s knitted pieces so I could freshly wash them.

The little zippers and buttons work perfectly; the few stains came out just fine. My grandmother would be pleased that after 29 years, we still have the things that she made and are even thinking about using them. My daughter knows that she’s incredibly lucky to have had her great grandmother in her life until she was 21 years old, and to now have these special heirlooms to pass on to her own baby.